Real-ationships

I'm laying here in Chicago. I can't sleep because I'm too excited for the day I'm about to have. Erika is in the other bed in the room, passed out. I haven't slept at all, really.

Life is exciting.

However, I can't seem to get girls off of my mind. I don't know if I'm allowed to call 21 year olds girls, but I don't think they're women, yet. Lately I'm trying to sever ties with some long-term people in my life, and it's killing me inside. The same whooshy feeling I have in my stomach thinking about the day/night I'm going to have in chicago, I have thinking about my relationships.

Eventually, you have to move on to bigger and better things; this is the general consensus for young relationships. This being said, I always wonder: am I making the right decisions? How will I ever know that this was the right thing to do. Relationships was so complicated and layered, it's confusing, yet I doubt I'm the only one who spends time late at night thinking about this kinda stuff. Or at least I hope I'm not the only one..

In any relationship, there's going to be some give and take. Sacrifices have to be made. Flaws must be accepted. Fights will be forgiven, and forgotten. The thing I'd like to ask - and if anyone has an asnwer please tell me - is when is it too much?

Say you get into a fight with your spouse, and you break up. Are you quitting too early? Are you not forgiving enough? Yet if you stay with your spouse after a fight, are you just a doormat? What if they cheated?

Another thing: I'd argue that the people that you meet in highschool could very well potentially be the best relationships you'll have, for a number of reasons.

1.First and foremost, how much free time do you currently have, in comparison to a high-school aged kid?! All you did in high-school was hang out with your friends, and do random shit. Now, it's all about work, school, money problems, cars, etc.
2. To elaborate on the first point, because of all of the free time you have when you're younger, you really have the time and the chances to get to know someone. You can put in the face time necessary to get to know someone.

As of late, I can't really stress how much these points matter. To argue against myself: sure, maybe as you get older you're a better judge of what you like/dislike. But because you're so strapped for time, your relationships become less and less about your common interests than they are of circumstance. I mean you'll probably end up dating that person that you work with only because you see them so often, you get to put in the face time.

See what I mean?


Fuck

I wish there were some sort of way to graph this, kind of like an economic supply and demand graph.

I want to find my equilibrium.


Fuck.

I need to fill my life with more important things to worry about than girls. I'll write about that next.

throw it in the bag - fabolous